EIGHTH INJECTION
EIGHTH INJECTION
The Return to the Valley of Tears………..
Friday today, about 10am. Last Monday I took my eighth jab and, once more experienced a very weird pattern of side effects.
At first I thought they were mildish, because I again sped my way through the first few days. Till last night, when the crash came. I have ‘misled’ ‘me’, and the feelings this new person has are sometimes scary.
My housekeeping skills have gone AWOL, the little energy I have seems to be misspent in daft adventures and not what’s important. I only do what is absolutely essential, ironing keeps piling up, and cooking is a thing of the past, tired as I am of burning pans…..Who has ever burned pasta???
I have no idea what I do with money; it just slips out on daft unnecessary stuff. I spend ages ‘budgeting’, writing down exactly what needs to be paid and bought, but it is only ‘in theory’, it just disappears! I guess it’s not that bad yet because at least I pay all my bills.
This is scary because I could be out, feeling quite normal and suddenly my brain seems to go AWOL!! And I do not realize it till it’s too late. This has led to me not going out unless I ‘have to’.
My concentration levels are zilch and when I am down, all the boggie men I left behind come back to tap me on the shoulder to say hello.
I have so much respect for the ones going through tx with young families!!! I do not like to think how I would cope if I did not live on my own but, yet again, the loneliness drowns me at times. And I am running out of my library of positive statements and ‘good thinking’; when I am down, they are just words.
Saw my nurse on Monday for monthly checkup. Some positive news there, with my ALTs down to 56!, they never came down from 90 since diagnosis and the drop is in the last month. It does make my prospects good and I keep hold of that.
On a negative note, my platelets are down from 150 to 90 in the last month. I have been told that ‘normal’ is 150 to 400, so I started off low. However, my nurse does not seem concerned at present, so we’ll have to see how it goes.
I should not feel lonely, I have very dear friends that have rallied round and I see more now than I ever did before, I need not have been worried about telling them when I was diagnosed; so, I am lucky that way.
I also have three lovely grown up children who love and support me, and, mainly, don’t bat an eyelid when I come out with crazy talk. But this week, I just cannot ‘feel’ any of that!
The Return to the Valley of Tears………..
Friday today, about 10am. Last Monday I took my eighth jab and, once more experienced a very weird pattern of side effects.
At first I thought they were mildish, because I again sped my way through the first few days. Till last night, when the crash came. I have ‘misled’ ‘me’, and the feelings this new person has are sometimes scary.
My housekeeping skills have gone AWOL, the little energy I have seems to be misspent in daft adventures and not what’s important. I only do what is absolutely essential, ironing keeps piling up, and cooking is a thing of the past, tired as I am of burning pans…..Who has ever burned pasta???
I have no idea what I do with money; it just slips out on daft unnecessary stuff. I spend ages ‘budgeting’, writing down exactly what needs to be paid and bought, but it is only ‘in theory’, it just disappears! I guess it’s not that bad yet because at least I pay all my bills.
This is scary because I could be out, feeling quite normal and suddenly my brain seems to go AWOL!! And I do not realize it till it’s too late. This has led to me not going out unless I ‘have to’.
My concentration levels are zilch and when I am down, all the boggie men I left behind come back to tap me on the shoulder to say hello.
I have so much respect for the ones going through tx with young families!!! I do not like to think how I would cope if I did not live on my own but, yet again, the loneliness drowns me at times. And I am running out of my library of positive statements and ‘good thinking’; when I am down, they are just words.
Saw my nurse on Monday for monthly checkup. Some positive news there, with my ALTs down to 56!, they never came down from 90 since diagnosis and the drop is in the last month. It does make my prospects good and I keep hold of that.
On a negative note, my platelets are down from 150 to 90 in the last month. I have been told that ‘normal’ is 150 to 400, so I started off low. However, my nurse does not seem concerned at present, so we’ll have to see how it goes.
I should not feel lonely, I have very dear friends that have rallied round and I see more now than I ever did before, I need not have been worried about telling them when I was diagnosed; so, I am lucky that way.
I also have three lovely grown up children who love and support me, and, mainly, don’t bat an eyelid when I come out with crazy talk. But this week, I just cannot ‘feel’ any of that!
posted by purpleswallow | 10:31 am
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