SIXTH INJECTION
SIXTH INJECTION
Oh, my!!! Today is Thursday the 27th; on Monday I had my sixth injection, and Hell could be a pretty good way to describe where I am at minute.
The build up of Interferon has finally got me. I have a chest infection, taking antibiotics, which my body does not like. But my emotions are all over the place. I just cannot find a stable middle ground; I am either crying my eyes out or so wound up and irritable that I am actually shaking.
I feel as if I was on drugs….. Oops…. I am! I have said very harsh things to my beloved son, totally out of character for me. What I hate the most is hurting the people that I love, and (selfishly) I hate it because that hurts Me, and I do not handle guilt well.
I spoke to my nurse (lovely Jane was on the phone in less than an hour) and she said that she is trying to find my blood results; something to do with me having an infection and white blood cells. She also told me that I am describing a well recognized reaction to the Interferon, and that it usually peaks between 6 and 12 weeks. That makes me feel better in a way and so it should pass. But now I am in it, it has me in bits.
I have been unable to leave the house this week, too ill, too weak, too shaky, and too tired. An hour of company is about all I can take before turning into the ugly witch of the west, or a sobering wreck.
I know I may sound negative, but today I feel this is going to be a very long and lonely road. There, I said it, now ‘enough’ of wallowing into self pity. ‘resentments’ take a walk!!! I am here for the duration, fighting this little monkey of a virus till it’s lying dead on the road…….
Until this week I had been having an easy ride of it, now it’s hit me I will try to remember that it ‘can’ get better if I keep positive. It is my choice to lie down and feel sorry for myself or to ‘ride it’ out. I choose the later, because I ‘like’ me, I ‘love’ life, I ‘love’ my family, and there is still So so much I want to do in life.
Oh, my!!! Today is Thursday the 27th; on Monday I had my sixth injection, and Hell could be a pretty good way to describe where I am at minute.
The build up of Interferon has finally got me. I have a chest infection, taking antibiotics, which my body does not like. But my emotions are all over the place. I just cannot find a stable middle ground; I am either crying my eyes out or so wound up and irritable that I am actually shaking.
I feel as if I was on drugs….. Oops…. I am! I have said very harsh things to my beloved son, totally out of character for me. What I hate the most is hurting the people that I love, and (selfishly) I hate it because that hurts Me, and I do not handle guilt well.
I spoke to my nurse (lovely Jane was on the phone in less than an hour) and she said that she is trying to find my blood results; something to do with me having an infection and white blood cells. She also told me that I am describing a well recognized reaction to the Interferon, and that it usually peaks between 6 and 12 weeks. That makes me feel better in a way and so it should pass. But now I am in it, it has me in bits.
I have been unable to leave the house this week, too ill, too weak, too shaky, and too tired. An hour of company is about all I can take before turning into the ugly witch of the west, or a sobering wreck.
I know I may sound negative, but today I feel this is going to be a very long and lonely road. There, I said it, now ‘enough’ of wallowing into self pity. ‘resentments’ take a walk!!! I am here for the duration, fighting this little monkey of a virus till it’s lying dead on the road…….
Until this week I had been having an easy ride of it, now it’s hit me I will try to remember that it ‘can’ get better if I keep positive. It is my choice to lie down and feel sorry for myself or to ‘ride it’ out. I choose the later, because I ‘like’ me, I ‘love’ life, I ‘love’ my family, and there is still So so much I want to do in life.
posted by purpleswallow | 6:15 pm
2 Comments:
Hi Lili,
Hang in there, it will get better. Your nurse is right, you will now how things are likely to be between 5 - 8 weeks. You are likely to find you have good days and bad days. Make the most of the good ones and forget the bad happened. Is your son old enough to understand what's going on. If he is I would suggest having a chat with him. My two were quite young when they were told and although they didn't understand everything it helped them to know it would go away. It's a horrible feeling to hurt someone you care about, even more so when you know you are doing it! It's an unfortunate fact of treatment everyone has to face.
Take care,
Carol
Hi Lili
I hope you have a restful night tonight and that things look better for you tomorrow.
You certainly sound like you have the power and determination to send that miserable virus running.
God bless you Lili and sleep well.
Miss Poppy x
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