Wednesday 28th Septe
Wednesday 28th September. 5.30am
I have been awake since four, bling! Eyes opened and the carousel of unwanted thoughts started rolling by.
I spoke to someone from the HepC trust yesterday, because I felt too good after second injection???? How mad can you get?
Advised to enjoy the ride while it’s easy… (Good old Sam). She’s quite right, of course.
This is what I do, you see? If I’m feeling bad, I feel bad….. But if I feel good, ‘I feel a fraud’? Why? I have to finally get rid of this compulsion to punish myself.
It ‘is’ what it ‘is’, just like that… And I know and believe that, but sometimes, when the bogie men come out to play it’s not so easy to ‘live’ it.
Okay, how much of this is the treatment? Let’s see…
Waking up at four in the morning, that’s definitely not me, so it’s gotta be the tx
Getting up and sitting at the pc at 5.30? Never done that before, so again, effect of tx.
My dearest friend should by now be on the plain to Grenobles, bungee coming on Saturday. My heart is there with them, I wish my body was there too.
I even had a fantasy yesterday of how great it would have been to have jumped the bridge on my second injection. Ahhh.. The arrogance of ego….
But I am not there, and that is as things are, so stop waffling…
Okay, maybe I haven’t had major physical side effect this time, but I reckon the state of my head, although still balanced, speaks for itself.
I can see an afternoon ‘siesta’ pending. And I feel much better now I got all that out.
I have been awake since four, bling! Eyes opened and the carousel of unwanted thoughts started rolling by.
I spoke to someone from the HepC trust yesterday, because I felt too good after second injection???? How mad can you get?
Advised to enjoy the ride while it’s easy… (Good old Sam). She’s quite right, of course.
This is what I do, you see? If I’m feeling bad, I feel bad….. But if I feel good, ‘I feel a fraud’? Why? I have to finally get rid of this compulsion to punish myself.
It ‘is’ what it ‘is’, just like that… And I know and believe that, but sometimes, when the bogie men come out to play it’s not so easy to ‘live’ it.
Okay, how much of this is the treatment? Let’s see…
Waking up at four in the morning, that’s definitely not me, so it’s gotta be the tx
Getting up and sitting at the pc at 5.30? Never done that before, so again, effect of tx.
My dearest friend should by now be on the plain to Grenobles, bungee coming on Saturday. My heart is there with them, I wish my body was there too.
I even had a fantasy yesterday of how great it would have been to have jumped the bridge on my second injection. Ahhh.. The arrogance of ego….
But I am not there, and that is as things are, so stop waffling…
Okay, maybe I haven’t had major physical side effect this time, but I reckon the state of my head, although still balanced, speaks for itself.
I can see an afternoon ‘siesta’ pending. And I feel much better now I got all that out.
posted by purpleswallow | 5:48 am
2 Comments:
Hi Lili
Yes Sam is right enjoy the good times and forget the bad ones (if you get them) Nice to see your blog, would you like it linked to others? Why don't you post about this blog on the forum.
Carol
Hi PurpleSwallow,
It's wonderful that treatment is going so well for you! Will be terrific if this continues. My own treatment was not so bad (finished July 22nd).
I found your blog from Martin Bolton's blog listing - hope it's okay with you if I link yours to mine. Really believe that it is important for people to be able to access as much information/connections as are possible, when going through this.
All best wishes for continued ease of treatment. Two injections already completed, well on the way to getting through it. Sue
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